PRISONS OF THE WORLD

 Justizzentrum Leoben (Austria): a 5-star prison

 Beautiful glass and stainless steel office building? Nope – that's a five-star prison in Styria, Austria! If you look at these figures comparing crime in Austria and crime in the U.S. you'll notice something odd: although the U.S. has higher crime rates in virtually every category (murder, forcible rape, robbery, aggravated assault, etc…) the Austrians triumph in one category: burglary. But why? Why is the rate of burglaries in Austria a whopping 40% higher than in the U.S.? I'll tell you why: because Austrian minimum security prisons are f—ing awesome! If you're in Austria, and have a working brain, you should be trying to get into one right now

 But what about the fact that you’re restricted in prison? Aren’t you isolated from your loved ones there? That doesn’t sound like fun.”
Well, verily I say unto you: “Guenther (if your name is Guenther — otherwise substitute your own name instead) Austria’s enlightened prison authorities fully understand your concerns and they’re ready to help. That’s why they’ve set up some awesomely comfortable rooms for your conjugal visits.”