Early Wednesday morning, a press release was sent from NATO headquarters in Brussels, Belgium stating that, in light of the current unrest in Britain and the government’s lackadaisical reaction to it, NATO no longer considers the Cameron government the legitimate voice of the British people.
An international force consisting of naval, air and ground forces from eight NATO countries, including The US, Canada, France, The Netherlands, Belgium and Italy will soon be headed to the North Atlantic in a show of solidarity with the British people’s uprising against law-enforcement authorities in London and other British cities that has been going on for several days now.
“By its actions and inactions, starting with the unlawful shooting of Mark Duggan, the British authorities under Premier David Cameron have proven that they do not have the best interests of the people of the United Kingdom as their priority,” read the statement.
“While NATO considers it to be the people themselves who must take the initiative to oust Cameron and establish a responsible government, we will take action to ensure that the abuses of British authorities is brought to an end, even if it necessitates air strikes and other direct military action.”
Prime Minister David Cameron, fresh back from an idyllic holiday break in Tuscany, had his office issue a counter-statement, calling the NATO action “quite mad” and saying that the people “clearly support Mr. Cameron” and the rioters are organized by a coalition of “Labor, the LDP, Al Qaeda and radical foreign elements.”
President Obama said to reporters this afternoon that “one thing is certain now; Cameron must go. And by ‘go,’ I don’t mean ‘go on vacation.’”
The president also withdrew the US ambassador to Great Britain, as did most other NATO countries.
Embattled Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi has offered to contribute troops to the NATO efforts in Britain but says that his calls to NATO headquarters have not been returned.
I set this up just to amuse my self and stifle my boredom, the blog will consist of some of my ramblings,videos pics and jokes that i have harvested from the net and is aimed at an adult audience
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
Dog survives knife stuck five inches into head by burglars
Swart, known for his nude studies and landscapes as well as being the drummer for Valiant Swart, said he thought it was "absurd". He then went outside, to see the police "come charging, guns drawn". "Bella then attacked them," he recounted on Sunday, while she lay quietly in front of the fireplace in their house in Dennesig Street, Stellenbosch.
The neighbours had called the police as they had trespassers on their property. The suspected robbers never got into Swart's home, but must have been in the yard. Swart and his wife, Ingrid, who was at work at the time of the incident, then took Bella to a vet. She was put under anaesthetic and the vet “literally had to push his knee against her head” to pull out the knife, said Swart.
To their surprise, Bella was fine, despite the stitches to the wound. The knife penetrated about 12cm between her eyes, and appeared to have missed her brain. To reward Bella for her bravery, Ingrid cooked her a piece of fillet steak.
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
WTF? IS THAT YOU MUM!!
Apparently this mother and daughter are both in the adult industry. The
producers have set up a dirty joke to get them both in the same scene.
Blindfolded they start the scene but soon mom finds out who is her
opponent...
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
Man Inserts Milk Bottle Up His Bum… To Relieve Constipation… Seriously…
You know, some people do some stupid things… this dude went and shoved a milk bottle up his arse, and it wasn't for "shits and giggles" either!
If you were feeling a little constipated, what is the first thing you're probably going to do? Take a couple Brooklax tablets perhaps to sort that shit right out?It seems in China they've never heard of laxatives and believe by inserting objects like milk bottles where the sun don't shine, may actually relieve the problem… I would have thought this would have just added to the "pressure"… but one man in China threw common sense aside and attempted the bottle trick.
Unfortunately he pushed it in a little too far and couldn't get it out which required a little visit to the hospital to have it removed.
I could just imagine the conversation at the front desk:
Nurse: what appears to be the problem?
Man: Um, I have a milk bottle in my um…ass…
The dude must have really been walking like John Wayne
Check out the X-Ray…
Eish, really now, that's got to have hurt bigtime, check the size of that thing, how the hell did he get it up there in the first without, (in the immortal words of my old hostel superintendent) "rip the ring out of it!"?
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Monday, 25 July 2011
THE LOST BOY
Little boy lost at Comic Con.
theskyisreallyfalling:
At Comic Con a little boy had lost his dad in the crowd, and was scared until he saw the Flash and Wonder Woman. He went up to the Flash to asked for help, because he knows him.
BEAUTY
This was written by a little 6 year old girl. I babysit her and her two sisters - Rebecca and Mia, and before they go to bed they all sit down and write little prayers to God.
This was the one that Hollie wrote last time, and it absolutely broke my heart. I mean, she’s six years old and she thinks she’s not beautiful. That’s not right. But she is beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. She’s got golden blonde hair, bright green eyes and a smile so beautiful that you melt a little inside when you see it.
When their mum got home, I showed her Hollie’s prayer, and she was devastated. She’s a nurse so she’s seen a lot of horrible things, but I have never seen her like that. And so I had to do something.
A post from another blog on Tumblr
Sunday, 24 July 2011
NO FEAR
2 - Watch out, I'm a southpaw: The dog cowers as his adversary threatens to land a knockout blow
It was a chance encounter that could have ended with flying fur and bloodshed in the snow.
Wildlife photographer Norbert Rosing was taking pictures of a team of huskies in Canada's frozen north when a polar bear gatecrashed the party.
Along with dog handler Brian Ladoon, Mr Rosing watched helplessly as the bear and one of the dogs approached each other.
4 - Go on, give us a (bear) hug: The new friends enjoy a cuddle
5 - If I lie here long enough I might even get a tickle on the tummy: The bear is playful, the husky is a little bemused and the handler (out of shot) is extremely relieved
Saturday, 23 July 2011
THE BEST BJ EVER
A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker; “How much do you charge?”
“It starts at $500 for a hand-job,” replies the hooker.
“$500 dollars? For a hand-job?” says the guy “No hand-job is worth that kind of money!”
So the hooker says, “Do you see that Denny’s on the corner?”
“Yes.”
“Do you see the Denny’s about a block further down?”
“Yes.”
“And beyond that, do you see that third Denny’s?”
“Yes.”
“Well,” says the hooker, smiling invitingly, “I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that’s worth $500.”
The guy thinks to himself, “What the hell? You only live once. I’ll give it a try.” and accepts the hooker’s offer. They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realising that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, “I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?”
“$1,500″ says the hooker
“I wouldn’t pay that for a blow-job!” he says
The hooker replies, “Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that’s worth every cent of $1,500.”
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, “OK Sign me up.”
Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it, but he feels he truly got his money’s worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, “How much for some pussy?”
The hooker says, “Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?”
“Damn!” the guy says, in awe, “You own the whole city?”
“Nope,” says the hooker, “but I would if I had a pussy.
“It starts at $500 for a hand-job,” replies the hooker.
“$500 dollars? For a hand-job?” says the guy “No hand-job is worth that kind of money!”
So the hooker says, “Do you see that Denny’s on the corner?”
“Yes.”
“Do you see the Denny’s about a block further down?”
“Yes.”
“And beyond that, do you see that third Denny’s?”
“Yes.”
“Well,” says the hooker, smiling invitingly, “I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that’s worth $500.”
The guy thinks to himself, “What the hell? You only live once. I’ll give it a try.” and accepts the hooker’s offer. They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realising that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, “I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?”
“$1,500″ says the hooker
“I wouldn’t pay that for a blow-job!” he says
The hooker replies, “Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that’s worth every cent of $1,500.”
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, “OK Sign me up.”
Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it, but he feels he truly got his money’s worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, “How much for some pussy?”
The hooker says, “Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?”
“Damn!” the guy says, in awe, “You own the whole city?”
“Nope,” says the hooker, “but I would if I had a pussy.
Friday, 22 July 2011
Thursday, 21 July 2011
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
THE TRUTH THE WHOLE TRUTH....
Things People Actually Said in Court as Recorded by Court Reporters
- ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
- WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
- ***
- ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
- check for a pulse?
- WITNESS: No.
- ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
- WITNESS: No.
- ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
- WITNESS: No.
- ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
- when you began the autopsy?
- WITNESS: No.
- ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
- WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
- ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
- nevertheless?
- WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
- and practicing law.
- ***
- ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
- WITNESS: Yes.
- ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
- WITNESS: I forget.
- ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
- ***
- ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you
- that morning?
- WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
- ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
- WITNESS: My name is Mary!
- ***
- ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
- WITNESS: We both do.
- ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
- WITNESS: We do.
- ATTORNEY: You do?
- WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
- ***
- ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
- his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
- WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
- ***
- ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
- WITNESS: Yes.
- ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
- WITNESS: None.
- ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
- WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a
- different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
- ***
- ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
- WITNESS: Oral.
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THAMES TOWN
On the outskirts of Shanghai lies a town most would mistake for a London Borough
Tucked away near the last stop of Line 9, the satellite settlement of Thames Town opened in 2006 as part of Shanghai’s One City, Nine Towns program, with low-rise apartments and gated complexes designed to house 10,000 residents. Despite an intensive marketing effort (including a beauty pageant), the community failed to take off, and what’s left is a ghost town -- and an ideal place for a quiet afternoon stroll.
As its name suggests, the design of Thames Town is inspired by England, with a main square, red telephone booths, streets named High, Oxford, and Queen and, of course, its very own man-made Thames river. If you start to lose yourself in your surroundings, worry not: images of Haibao have made it out here to reassure you that you are, in fact, still in Shanghai.
Planted all across Thames Town are statues of Brits ranging from Winston Churchill to Princess Diana, from Harry Potter to generic English-looking folk. (Yes, we did say Harry Potter.)
… to soon-to-be-married couples who didn’t feel like hopping on a plane. Who needs to leave Shanghai when we’ve got our very own Christ Church sitting on a giant, picture-perfect lawn? |
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