EAT MY SHORTS!!!

THE TRUTH THE WHOLE TRUTH....

Things People Actually Said in Court as Recorded by Court Reporters

• ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
• WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
• ***
• ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
• check for a pulse?
• WITNESS: No.
• ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
• WITNESS: No.
• ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
• WITNESS: No.
• ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
• when you began the autopsy?
• WITNESS: No.
• ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
• WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
• ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
• nevertheless?
• WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
• and practicing law.
• ***
• ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
• WITNESS: Yes.
• ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
• WITNESS: I forget.
• ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
• ***
• ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you
• that morning?
• WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
• ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
• WITNESS: My name is Mary!
• ***
• ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
• WITNESS: We both do.
• ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
• WITNESS: We do.
• ATTORNEY: You do?
• WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
• ***
• ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
• his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
• WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
• ***
• ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
• WITNESS: Yes.
• ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
• WITNESS: None.
• ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
• WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a
• different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
• ***
• ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
• WITNESS: Oral.

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THAMES TOWN

On the outskirts of Shanghai lies a town most would mistake for a London Borough

Tucked away near the last stop of Line 9, the satellite settlement of Thames Town opened in 2006 as part of Shanghai’s One City, Nine Towns program, with low-rise apartments and gated complexes designed to house 10,000 residents. Despite an intensive marketing effort (including a beauty pageant), the community failed to take off, and what’s left is a ghost town -- and an ideal place for a quiet afternoon stroll.
As its name suggests, the design of Thames Town is inspired by England, with a main square, red telephone booths, streets named High, Oxford, and Queen and, of course, its very own man-made Thames river. If you start to lose yourself in your surroundings, worry not: images of Haibao have made it out here to reassure you that you are, in fact, still in Shanghai.


 Planted all across Thames Town are statues of Brits ranging from Winston Churchill to Princess Diana, from Harry Potter to generic English-looking folk. (Yes, we did say Harry Potter.)

… to soon-to-be-married couples who didn’t feel like hopping on a plane. Who needs to leave Shanghai when we’ve got our very own Christ Church sitting on a giant, picture-perfect lawn?

JOY RIDING CAT (2)

Mystery cat takes regular bus to the shops

 

Bus drivers have nicknamed a white cat Macavity after it has started using the No 331 several mornings a week.
The feline, which has a purple collar, gets onto the busy Walsall to Wolverhampton bus at the same stop most mornings - he then jumps off at the next stop 400m down the road, near a fish and chip shop.
The cat was nicknamed Macavity after the mystery cat in T.S Elliot's poem. He gets on the bus in front of a row of 1950s semi-detached houses and jumps off at a row of shops down the road which include a fish and chip shop.
Driver Bill Khunkhun, 49, who first saw the cat jumping from the bus in January, said: "It is really odd, the first time I saw the cat jumping off the bus with a group of passengers. I hadn't seen it get on which was a bit confusing.
"The next day I pulled up on Churchill Road to let a couple of passengers on. As soon as I opened the doors the cat ran towards the bus, jumped on and ran under one of the seats, I don't think any of the passengers noticed.
"Because I had seen it jump off the day before I carried on driving and sure enough when I stopped just down the road he jumped off - I don't know why he would catch the bus but he seems to like it. I told some of the other drivers on this route and they have seen him too."
Since January, when the cat first caught the bus he has done it two or three times a week and always gets on and off at the same stops.
Passenger, Paul Brennan, 19, who catches the 331 to work, said: "I first noticed the cat a few weeks ago. At first I thought it had been accompanied by its owner but after the first stop it became quite clear he was on his own.
"He sat at the front of the bus, waited patiently for the next stop and then got off. It was was quite strange at first but now it just seems normal. I suppose he is the perfect passenger really - he sits quietly, minds his own business and then gets off."